Stephen Colbert Anxiously Reads the Newest Polls

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Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

With the election two weeks away, late-night hosts are getting antsy. Even though Joseph R. Biden Jr. is leading President Trump by 10 points in the latest polls, Stephen Colbert wasn’t taking any chances. The “Late Show” host tossed some table salt, knocked on wood and said “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” so as not to jinx the Democrat’s chances.

“I can’t wait for this thing to be over,” Colbert said on Monday night. “It’s like an upcoming surgery, in that I’m planning on being anesthetized for the event.”

“He’s basically saying, ‘Don’t listen to the scientists; listen to me, a guy who was just revived by a team of scientists.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, Trump said if we listen to the scientists we’d have a country in a massive depression and it’s a good thing we didn’t, because look at us now — we’re thriving.” — JIMMY FALLON

Jimmy Fallon and Lin-Manuel Miranda are two “goats” who will vote.

Dolly Parton will promote her new book, Netflix movie and holiday album on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”

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